Words are strong enough to build up or tear down

We are surrounded by phrases and words that are poison. “That was gay.” “You’re retarded.” “Gotta fit in this dress, time to start starving myself.”
“He must be the adopted child of the family.” “I’m going to kill myself.”

I have heard each of these phrases spoken in the past month. Many were said on multiple occasions. However, none of the speakers truly meant what they were saying. The television show was not about a homosexual. My friend is not mentally handicapped. The girl was not anorexic. The boy was not adopted. The middle schooler, not understanding the intensity and gravity of the words she spoke, did not kill herself.

So, why do we say these things? Why do we make light of some of the most tragic and hurtful events in society? Why do we use characteristics about other humans to show hatred, disgust or to poke fun?

I’m an English major, so I have a love of words. Words are beautiful, impactful, powerful. They are powerful enough to build someone up, but also tear them down. If we no longer use words to tear people down, imagine what our world would be like.

Many people say Hitler was so powerful because of his persuasive and intense speech. He labeled people he viewed as less desirable with unkind and harsh words, and eventually people started to believe that they were just that. An entire nation started to believe that the word “Jew” meant impure, and therefore thought Jewish people had less dignity than those of the Aryan race.

I understand that the poisonous phrases we use in our daily lives are not serious, and generally not intended to bring harm to any group of people. But imagine sitting at a large lunch table and someone making a joke about his brother being the adopted child of the family because he made a mistake. At that lunch table, it is very possible that someone else is actually adopted, and perhaps it pains them to hear others believe that adopted children are not as good or don’t fit in as well. Imagine joking that you need to starve yourself and having a girl at the table who actually battles anorexia. Imagine joking that you want to kill yourself and having a boy whose sister committed suicide sitting right next to you.

Before this year, I rarely noticed language like this. But my roommate has inspired me to be aware of it. No matter what, this bold girl will kindly ask people not to say “retarded,” or “gay” around her in a derogatory way. This seems terrifying, right? At first, I thought there was no way I could do it. But I have found that most of the time, the people don’t even realize what they are saying is wrong or hurtful. And usually, it opens the door for positive dialogue about these issues that are so prevalent in our society.

My challenge for myself – and for you if you dare to take it – is to be vigilant of speech. I so often catch myself saying words or phrases that do not build others up; rather, they tear them down. Being aware of one’s speech is a great way to start promoting solidarity, because if we stop labeling and degrading one another, we just might be able to come together as one. Every person – the anorexic, the glutton, the mentally handicapped, the scholar, the child, the depressed, the adopted, the homosexual, the religious, the atheist – has an inherent dignity and deserves to know- and be told that they do.

First Thessalonians says: “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.” Words are beautiful, impactful, powerful. Powerful enough to build someone up, and powerful enough to tear them down. Let’s start speaking in a way that builds up humanity.

Lindsey Frechou can be reached at [email protected].