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NOLACatholic Parenting Podcast
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By Dr. Heather Bozant Witcher
Young Adults
The tragedy of losing a child is unfathomable. The tragedy of losing a child in what was supposed to be a place of safety is gut-wrenching. And, the thought that this could have been prevented makes every parent sick.
Like every other parent, I watched the events in Uvalde unfold with horror. Nineteen children and two teachers. The numbers echoed in my mind that night as I held my own children close during bedtime routine.
When I dropped my twins off at daycare the next morning, there was an air of solemnity. The director of the school was outside talking with every parent, attempting to offer reassurance: there’s a plan in place.
Those words also filled me with horror. To even imagine needing a “plan” to protect the children ranging from ages 1-4 – it was mind-numbing. But, of course, it had to be said. A kind of false assurance: It won’t happen here.
Certainly, the parents at Robb Elementary School thought the same thing. And, yet, it happened. Just a few days before summer vacation.
Can you even imagine being those parents? Knowing not only that their child is gone, but that in mere days, those same children would have been home – safe?
But that, too, seems to be an illusion. Violence begets violence. In the aftermath of Robb Elementary School, 20 mass shootings have already occurred. We haven’t even finished reeling over the massacre of 19 children and 2 teachers, and we’re seeing surges in violent shootings.
The lock that many schools installed to prevent intruders is called the “rhino lock.” It’s the lock that bolts into the floor. I learned that from a friend, whose children told her not to worry, because they know how to “pull down the rhino lock.”
It makes my heart heavy even hearing that, because our children shouldn’t need to be learning how to protect themselves.
All I had to remember for “protection” in school was what door to exit for a fire drill; our children are learning silence, how to hide, and how to pull down locks.
When we woke up on the morning of May 25, I watched my husband hug our twins tighter as he pulled them, still sleep-warm, from their beds. I listened to their laughter and their requests for “strah-bury eat-me” (strawberry oatmeal), and I watched them frantically running out of their room in search of their baby brother, the two dogs and, of course, our vacuum.
I was grateful for those sounds and routine. I was grateful for the toys strewn across the house, and the food being flung from the high chair with high-squealed laughter from the baby.
Those are the sounds and actions that will now be memories for 19 broken-hearted parents.
As a young parent with children not yet in school, I’m filled with fear. I look back to Sandy Hook and the promises made to those parents, to those children: that actions would be taken, that such a tragedy should never happen again. But it has, and it will.
How much longer will we sit back blindfolded, telling ourselves that such a tragedy should never have happened? Policy changes and regulations need to be at the forefront of politics.
How can we, as a nation, continue to replay these tragedies without a real solution to keep this from happening again?
hbozantwitcher@clarionherald.org