Why are you getting married in the Catholic Church?

By Stacy LaMorte
NOLA Catholic Parenting

You are engaged to be married! What an exciting season of your life! Now, it is time to decide what your wedding is going to look like. You have probably been envisioning it your whole life – now is the time to make it a reality.

My husband Kris and I began preparing couples for the sacrament of matrimony about 10 years ago. Though we had only been married 10 years at the time, we were invited to become involved in this ministry.

We thought, “Who are we to guide young couples through this sacrament?” But we also felt we had a good marriage rooted in faith, and we are both very open people, so we agreed.



Because we have three children, couples we have worked with through the years have gotten to see a very real picture of what Catholic family life is like. Our children have benefitted from seeing that getting married is more than just planning a wedding.

When discussing writing this article with Kris, I asked, “What do you think is the biggest thing to impart?” He said, “I think, ‘Why are you getting married in the Catholic Church?’” I agree. It is one of the first things the priest will ask and when you attend Marriage Preparation (a.k.a. Pre-Cana) – whether it is the weekend version or the six-session In-Home Marriage Prep. It will be a big part of the conversation, so you and your fiancée should discuss it.

Here are some helpful questions to start with:

•  If we are not already, can we commit to attending Mass in preparation for our wedding ceremony, to hear God’s word, and to celebrate the Eucharist together weekly?
•  If not, why is it important to us to be married in the church? If it is just to appease someone in our family, let’s discuss it with our priest.
•  If we are blessed with children, are we ready to raise them in the Catholic faith and give them a proper faith education either through parochial schools or getting them to a religious education program?
•  Throughout our marriage, how can we give back to the church with our time, talents and treasures?
•  If we are living together now, could one of us move out to give ourselves the space we need to grow in our love and commitment to one another until our wedding night?

You are asked to dig deep during marriage preparation; you get out of it what you have put into it. We have seen couples where one person is much more engaged in the process than the other, which is difficult to see; and we have seen couples invest in the process and have been richly blessed by their commitment to one another and “doing the work” together.

Who knows? Maybe one day you will be helping to prepare couples for marriage yourselves! It has blessed our marriage beyond measure.

Stacy LaMorte writes a column for the printed Clarion Herald and on the website for the Clarion’s NOLA Catholic Parenting, nolacatholicparenting.org.