Top 10 building blocks for building a sacramental marriage

By Jan and Lloyd Tate
Contributing writers

1. Embrace Jesus Christ as your role model for marriage and seek to imitate his self-donating love.

2. Strive for unity in all things in imitation of the unity within the Trinity. Unity does not mean sameness; individuals remain who they are. Unity means being of one mind, heart and soul in all the major areas of life; it means being on the same team, united in purpose.

3. Personal daily prayer and daily couple prayer are the means to attain union with Christ and deep spiritual intimacy.

4. Invest time studying Pope John Paul II’s Theology of the Body. It will transform your attitudes toward sexuality and awaken within you a profound reverence for the dignity of each human person.

5. Practice daily prime time communication. Spend at least 20-30 minutes each day reconnecting with your spouse in an atmosphere where there are minimal distractions and the freedom to share your feelings and needs.

6. Spend time reflecting on the patterns of relationship you each learned in your families of origin. Seek to recognize the conflicts that arise from these differing patterns and work toward acceptance and understanding.

7. Live by the maxim: “If something is not good for both of you, it’s not good for either of you.”

8. Make your marriage relationship your top priority – second only to your relationship with God. Your role as spouse must come before your role as a parent or business professional.

9. Practice the discipline of yearly continuing education for your marriage. Marriage enrichment retreats, communication seminars, family life conferences and book studies are tools to build a more solid marriage.

10. Get involved in some form of ministry together as a couple, either through your church or civic community. Serve together in imitation of Christ.