The divine Dance Master lifts us up when we stumble

Jenny Dendinger
NOLA Catholic Parenting

This summer, I hit a new record. I went to confession three times in one week.

It was a rough week.

I confessed my sins before Sunday Mass and left the confessional feeling the weight of my failures lifted. My whole family went to confession that day, which gave me even more peace. We were starting over together. Praise God!

With the gifts of forgiveness and grace washing over me, I felt hopeful that we could all move forward and make progress in the areas where we were struggling.

I was back in line by Friday.

At that point, the shame was starting to get to me. Who wants to go to confession and begin by saying it’s only been five days? Certainly not me.

Despite my embarrassment, I knew that I needed to apologize and reconcile with God. In those sinful moments, I was struggling to be my best self. God knew that. But, giving myself permission to skip confession and embrace my pride would block me from true reconciliation, leading me farther down the road I was trying so hard to avoid.

While God knows our heart, it’s still essential for us to acknowledge our sins and repent. Pushing ourselves through the discomfort of speaking our sins to the priest who is there in persona Christi (in the person of Christ) encourages us to properly reflect on what we’ve done. It brings clarity to how our actions have broken our relationship with God and our neighbor.

A heartfelt apology has the power to strengthen the connection and intimacy in any relationship. Saying, “I recognize that my actions were wrong, and I hurt you. I am sorry. Please forgive me,” can be a beautiful thing. It not only clears the air of your wrongdoing, but it also says to the person, “I care. I hurt you, and I don’t want to do that again. I want our relationship to be restored. I am choosing to love you over my pride.”

As much as it pains me to admit this, it didn’t take long for me to mess up again. I was enduring a difficult trial, and, in my weariness, I just kept failing.

The following Sunday, I dragged myself back to confession. Pride was fighting hard for control, so I knew that a dose of humility was necessary. After tearfully acknowledging my offenses, I admitted how frustrated and angry I was over needing to come back to confession so soon. I felt like a lost cause.

The priest reassured me that we all go through times when we fail to carry our crosses well. We should try our best to avoid sin, but the important thing is to get back up when we fall.

I carefully listened to the priest’s advice, prayed my Act of Contrition and took my penance back to our pew. As I closed my eyes and prayed, God gave me a beautiful vision. It was a stage full of dancers practicing. Anytime they fell, their teacher would urge them to get back up. He would thoughtfully correct their mistakes and then stretch out his arms and proclaim, “Begin again!”

Since that day, my mind has often returned to those dancers. They continue to remind me that even with a strong desire to be holy, the road to sainthood won’t be free of failure. It will be a journey filled with continuing to choose God over my pride, acknowledging and apologizing for my mistakes and encouraging myself and others to begin again.

Jenny Dendinger is a Louisiana native who married her high school sweetheart, Buddy, after he stole her heart at their neighborhood bus stop over 20 years ago. She currently spends her days perpetually reheating her coffee while clinging to Mama Mary for help as she homeschools their five children. Because big family life is always full of surprises, she is a firm believer in the vital refreshment that results from continuing to date her husband. She is also known to appreciate the comfort of her daddy’s Monday night red beans, the thrill of hunting for treasure at garage sales and the satisfaction of a sweet victory on family game night. While her house has all the familiar traits of a homeschooling family – hopelessly messy and overflowing with books – her favorite lessons involve putting aside their formal work and going beyond the walls of their home to put their faith into action. Even though it isn’t always easy, Jenny constantly strives to live simply, speak truthfully, give generously and pray unceasingly. [email protected]