Stations of the Cross relate to marriage

Couples, especially those with children, need time together to reflect on their relationship and their faith. New Orleans Catholic Engaged Encounter found an appropriate venue for couples to do just that: a Way of the Cross for Married Couples held on March 22 at St. Clement of Rome in Metairie.
This was the fifth time this Way of the Cross for Married Couples has been held, said Stacey Hebert, who with her husband Chris, helped coordinate the event for Catholic Engaged Encounter.

“Couples who come here are looking for couples’ enrichment, a date night and a night to reflect about marriage,” Stacey Hebert said.

Unite sufferings with Christ
From the opening reflection that reminds us as Christians we are “called to follow Jesus and to unite our sufferings with his,” couples hear how they are to lay down their lives and be dedicated to each other and forgo concentrating on the petty annoyances of everyday life that can tear a marriage apart.

“Give me the grace to love my spouse with all my heart,” is the initial prayer before each station relates the sacrament of marriage to what Jesus went through on his journey to the cross. Themes included being quick to judge, not being thankful enough, clinging too much to their families of origin, not seeking help when needed, not being a loving presence or empathetic to each other, not being forgiving, choosing being right instead of being kind.

Extravagant in forgiveness
Especially concerning forgiveness, couples heard from the 11th station meditation words that the Lord told Peter when he asked how often he should forgive those who sin against him, “I do not say to you seven times but 70 times seven.”

The Heberts, along with others who attended an Engaged Encounter Convention in Houston in 2006, discovered this Way of Cross for couples. It was written by Houston couple Joe and Cinda DeVet.

“It was neat and moving, and as a group we decided it was something we wanted to do for our community in New Orleans,” Stacey Hebert said. The Archdiocese of New Orleans began offering it in 2008.

The format of this Way of the Cross is an announcement of each station, followed by a prayer, a Scripture reading, a meditation on the station and reflection on how marriage can relate to that station.

Just a listening ear
For example, here’s the marriage reflection on the sixth station, where Veronica wipes the face of Jesus: “So often in marriage, our partner has pain or trouble or a problem. We often tend to respond by giving advice or criticism or logical problem-solving. And we may become annoyed when our spouse isn’t real grateful for our advice. But many times what is most needed is a Veronica – a loving presence. Listening. Caring. Empathy. Concern. Love.

“Sometimes we fail to reverence the simple gifts brought to us by our spouse. We don’t want to admit our need for kindness and tenderness, and we hurt our beloved when we reject their acts of love.”

“The stations relate to what’s going on in your life,” Hebert said. “You can see it in the sharings we do about couples. You might relate to a particular station. It’s interesting how God can touch your heart in a lot of ways, depending on what you need.”

Couples, who felt inclined, could carry the cross to the next station and hold it through the meditations, prayers and reflections.

Catholic Engaged Encounter couple Ty and Derrick Salvant, parishioners at St. Dominic, stepped up to carry the cross at a station or two. Ty Salvant said attending the Couples Way of the Cross is a refresher course for marriage.

“All these themes are very telling,” she said. “We experience all these things. It reminds us that our spouses don’t intentionally do things to us, but sometimes we have unreal expectations.”

The final two stations summed up the sacrament of marriage by showing how Jesus surrendered to God and carried the cross.

“Our mission is to carry the cross of our own life … and see the covenant commitment we have made through to the end,” the prayer said. “Help me always to follow you, to surrender to the pain and joy, the suffering and ecstasy of unity with each other and with you.”

Married couples were given encouragement to ask God for “the wisdom to find you in all the times and circumstances of my daily life” and to open their hearts to God’s graces.

An invitation also was extended to get more involved with Catholic Engaged Encounter weekends, a part of marriage preparation in the Archdiocese of New Orleans since 1975. For details on the ministry, call coordinators Steve and Claudia Schulz at 888-5671 or visit www.nocee.org.

Christine Bordelon can be reached at cbordelon@clarionherald.org.