Do you want to stick together or do you want to split up?” This is a conversation that happens in our household just about every single week.
Don’t worry, my marriage isn’t in jeopardy.
But when it comes to deciding whether to attend Sunday Mass with or without our tiny 20-month-old tornado in tow, that is the question.
And I get it. Taking your kids to Mass isn’t easy. They squirm. They shout. They wiggle. They whine.
In fact, I took our son AJ to daily Mass last week and broke a sweat in the back with him before we even made it to the prayers of the faithful. A few weeks before that, he discovered he could let out a really loud, high-pitched scream and it would “echo.”
So when it comes to bringing your kids to Mass, the choice is yours. But, how else will they begin getting used to such a special Sunday family tradition, and what better way to introduce them to our faith than experiencing the welcoming arms of our church family?
Despite what you may think, most people expect and enjoy to see (and hear) kids at Mass. In fact, I can’t tell you the number of encouraging comments Alan and I have received from those in the congregation, even when AJ is a (holy) terror.
Now, being only 20 months into motherhood, I wouldn’t say I’m a seasoned pro, but I do have a few tips that have proven very helpful for us and for the families I’ve shared them with:
Whatever you do, do not put them down. If they learn that they can cry in the pew and you’ll take them to the back to run around, guess what they will do every time you get to the pew? Exactly. Instead, hold them throughout the service.
If they realize that they’ll be held regardless of whether you’re in the pew, in the back, or in the cry room, this is how (in time) they will learn to be still and silent.
Designate a bag of “church toys” with a few favorite books, quiet activities and/or snacks that they get to play with only when at church. You can choose to bring only religious-themed books and toys, like a children’s Bible, stories of the saints and rope rosaries, or you can bring books and simple toys you know they’ll enjoy and be entertained by. (This works well for children who are too young to understand the Mass fully; as they get older, you’ll want to teach them about what’s going on throughout the Mass and encourage them to participate in the prayer and worship.)
Dismiss your ego and let go of your concerns that they’ll be too loud or too distracting. No one else is as worried about that as you might feel.
Allow yourself to relax and adopt what Jesus said instead: “Let the little children come to me.” (For all the other or, shall we say, “judgmental” members of our parish family, he instituted confession.)
I hope these suggestions help you put an end to the debate, and if all else fails remember – it’s just an hour. You will survive!
After overcoming cancer at 25, Courtney Elmer now shows high-achieving women how to break up with “busy” so they can find true success in all areas of life – no hustle or hard work required. As a wife and mom herself, she understands the pressures of wearing all the hats and the frustration of feeling like there’s never enough time to get it all done.
That’s why Courtney specializes in sharing simple, actionable steps to help women grow both personally and professionally, create order out of life’s chaos, and find their inner peace. Courtney lives in Metairie with her husband Alan and their son AJ, a surprise miracle baby following her cancer treatments.