Sharing a meal strengthens community ties

Over the past years of married life, I’ve realized that I actually enjoy cooking. Rather than a chore, I genuinely look forward to trying a new recipe and getting to work in the kitchen.
I’m not particularly fond of usually being the person responsible for creating the week’s meal plan, but I look forward to the preparation of a meal. This is an abrupt about-face from my initial foray of living alone: there, meals consisted of anything that included directions on the packaging.

Cooking is a communal process. It brings people together over a shared experience. Meal preparation – from the chopping and cleaning, to the stirring and mixing of ingredients – has become a vital opportunity to unwind after the work day. Rather than waiting until the food ends up on the table and talking in between bites, we use our time in the kitchen to share stories, which extends into the meal. Of course, this proves particularly helpful after a tense or trying day: the anger and exhaustion can melt away over some intense periods of chopping or tenderizing.

While watching Michael Pollan’s “Cooked,” a Netflix documentary series that shows how cooking transforms food and shapes our culture, my husband and I began focusing on how our own kitchen life has transformed our relationship. As Pollan says, today, “we’re consuming food carelessly with no sense of ceremony, no sense of community.” When we look at the food choices available to us and the amount of time that preparing a meal takes, often easier options taking less time spring to mind. Pollack continues: “We’re eating alone. Twenty percent of food in America is eaten in the car. That’s not really eating. That’s mindlessly fueling yourself.”

When we view cooking as a communal process, we emphasize the sharing that occurs between individuals. If you’re going to cook, chances are that the meal will take place while seated at a table with other people: family, friends or community.

Growing up, it was very rare for us not to sit down to dinner as a family. As high school schedules grew busier and extracurriculars mounted, my parents would reserve a plate of food for us when we returned home or fast food was an option. But today, many of my students have admitted that sitting down to dinner as a family was outside of their norm.

When we lose sight of the shared nature of our activities, we can clearly see how cultural norms and societal expectations change. Do we really wonder why the nature of the family has come under attack? When we neglect community and opportunities for community building, we forgo the emphasis on the family as the first means of community.

Our faith has always focused on the meal as a means of forging relationships: the miracle of water into wine at Cana, Jesus’s feeding of the multitudes with five loaves of bread and two fish, the celebration of the sacrament of the Eucharist. By truly living out our faith, we can also use cooking as a metaphor for strengthening familial and communal ties.

Heather Bozant Witcher can be reached at hbozantwitcher@clarionherald.org.