Regina Matrum 2022 helps form children in faith

By Christine Bordelon
Clarion Herald

Whether she assisted the elderly, taught catechism, volunteered with the parish youth group, her children’s schools, held penny parties to raise money for sick children or collected trash around her Slidell neighborhood, Gayle Calamari’s caring nature as God’s servant has always been front and center.

Calamari’s work in her Catholic parish community and raising her close family of six children, 19 grandchildren and 16 great grandchildren, with several on the way, in the Catholic tradition hasn’t gone unnoticed.

On March 20, she was recognized as the Council of Catholic School Cooperative Clubs’ (CCSCC) 76th Regina Matrum honoree at morning Mass celebrated by her pastor, Father Wayne Paysse, at Our Lady of Lourdes in Slidell. Fern Lambert, CCSCC Regina Matrum chairperson, and CCSCC president Judith Nussbaum presented her with flowers as the Catholic mother of the year in the Archdiocese of New Orleans.

A cover story
Calamari’s eldest child, Lori Hursey, described her mother as selfless and having a phenomenal Catholic faith and unbelievable strength. She said it took much effort to create a ruse to get Calamari to  Sunday morning Mass instead of her usual Saturday Vigil. Hursey, who teaches preschool at Our Lady of Lourdes, told her mom  she was to receive an award for her parish volunteerism.

Calamari was flabbergasted when the scheme unfolded. She had asked her family to bring dollar bills to give to Lori – a family tradition that celebrates those getting special recognition – and she had seen a former teacher of Lori’s and mentioned how happy she was to see her there.

“When they started to announce what it was, it didn’t sound like the award that Lori was supposed to be winning, so I was so confused,” Calamari, 81, said. “When they announced my name, I was crying. ... I said I don’t feel like I deserve this. I looked around, and there are so many people in our church doing so many things.”

Traditionally, the Regina Matrum celebration is held in the honoree’s parish the day after Mother’s Day. Calamari’s celebration will be May 23.

During the nomination process for Regina Matrum, she had dozens of family members and those with whom she has connected over the years write in about how deserving she was to receive the award.

“She is a tiny woman of frame, but bigger than can be imagined in generosity, parenting skills, giving of love, love for our Lord and our mother Mary,” said Our Lady of Lourdes 1980 graduate Michele Barrere Tymkiw. “Something I think is unique about Mrs. Gayle is her sense of fun. She laughs a lot, smiles a lot and finds joy and delight in the small things in life. ... She includes others in her  ‘family’ to make them feel valued.”

Calamari said her joy is derived from quietly helping her family and people who have no one else to lean on, not necessarily belonging to groups and attending meetings.

“I’d rather help somebody who needs it than to go to these meetings where everybody’s going to sit around arguing,” she said.

Faith helps her through grief
Calamari had been married for 36 years when she lost her husband Henry, then 55, in a tragic boating accident. They had dated as teenagers and got married at St. Dominic Church in New Orleans when she was only 18. The daily Mass attender said it was her Catholic faith that got her through grief.

“I didn’t appreciate my religion as much as when I lost my husband,” Calamari said. “I tell my kids and grandkids, ‘If you don’t have faith in your life, you can’t make it.’ That’s what gets me through.

“When the virus came (in 2020), I couldn’t believe you couldn’t go to church. The first time I was watching Mass online, I was sitting by myself, crying my eyes out. … I signed up when they were only allowing 10 people back in person. I felt like I was back home. It just gave me so much peace. You don’t realize it until you don’t have it any more.”

Raising her children in a Catholic environment and sending them to Catholic schools – just as she and her husband had – was important. It was first schools in New Orleans – St. Anthony of Padua, Sacred Heart of Jesus School and Holy Redeemer – and then in Slidell, when the family moved in 1973 – Our Lady of Lourdes, Pope John Paul II and St. Scholastica Academy.

Calamari was a consummate volunteer at her children’s schools – working in the library, attending field trips, helping the nuns at Our Lady of Lourdes with garage sales to raise money for mission trips and chairing parish fair booths. She recalled filling 700-dozen confetti eggs for one year.

“It was our Good Friday tradition,” she said about her family stuffing eggs. “We would go to our camp, go to Stations of the Cross and come home and fill confetti eggs. The last year, there were enough eggs remaining to do two fair years. We had a lot of good memories.”

When several of her children were teens, she was tapped by a nun to start Our Lady of Lourdes’ CYO. With the help of her husband, it grew to approximately 80 members. By making it fun along with teaching the faith, they became role models for the teens, and two asked them to be their confirmation sponsors.

“It’s not just about sitting in church and praying for two hours,” she said. “You have to make it fun, too. I would try to get them to go to the nursing homes at Christmas, and we would adopt a family and have Mass once a month where all the kids would do ushering, the readings. I got them all involved.”

Family of go-getters
Her family unity shined brightly in many endeavors they started in Slidell. There was a basketball tournament for youth; a two-mile race for Our Lady of Lourdes’ parish fair that lasted almost 40 years until COVID; and a tennis tournament that ran until Hurricane Katrina and raised $100,000 for Our Lady of Lourdes School to award financial-need scholarships. It’s now named after her late husband.

Calamari’s also known for teaching children about faith, work ethic and helping others through penny parties that had games, raffles and more.

“What I liked about it was the kids had fun, it went for a good cause and they learned,” she said. “A lot of the high school kids would come here and get service hours. It was a three-fold thing.”

Hursey resurrected the parties in her neighborhood for her children as an adult. The last one raised $2,000. “It had such an impact on me,” Hursey said. “She’s always helping someone, whether in the family or not. I learned how to help people, how to be a good Catholic and share my faith with my kids. I tried to imitate my mom the best I could. She’s a hard act to follow.”

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