Reality can be gratifying if we take time to see it

    As the end of the semester draws near and summer is only a glimpse away, it can be easy to get lost in the chaos of final exams and stop for moments of reflection. This semester, for me in particular, has been seemingly filled with utter chaos: deadlines looming; to-do lists filled, but never fully accomplished; plans made, but fallen through, etc.
    Talking with a friend over coffee, I confessed that I didn’t think I had gotten much accomplished this past year; at least, it didn’t seem that way. As we talked about the semester and our plans for the future, it became clear that in all of the chaos, I had neglected to see just how much I had accomplished.
     Looking back, everything seems like a blur. But then again, these past two years in graduate school have passed by so quickly that I can only distinctly recall certain milestones. I remember my first night in St. Louis, after my parents left, and feeling lonely and abandoned, since it was the first time I had been so far from home and by myself.
    I remember the first week of classes, feeling completely overwhelmed and wondering why I had thought this was a good idea. I remember the first graduate school paper I turned in and the amazing sense of accomplishment I felt when it was completed.
     I remember my engagement and beginning wedding planning. I remember arriving in England, sight-seeing and researching in the British Library. I remember the excitement of starting my thesis and the disillusionment that followed before the “light bulb” went off. I remember the excitement I felt when my committee informed me that I had passed my defense.
    In all of the hectic situations that life throws in our direction, it can be easy to think just how far behind we’ve fallen. We are constantly given images of the way that life is supposed to happen. We have our ideals and dreams, but one of the things that I’ve come to realize is that life doesn’t always happen according to a schedule. We have to be prepared to face reality and live our lives within our means in the best way that we can.
    Growing up, we have visions of dream weddings and dream houses, and it can be difficult to let go of those dreams as we face reality.
    From the beginning, we are allowed to try bigger dreams on for size. In fact, Pinterest – a virtual pinboard that allows you to organize and share all of the beautiful ideas you find on the Internet – is based on such dreams. Looking over popular pinboards, it is obvious that most people are pinning ideas for their dream wedding, dream house, dream clothing, dream vacations, etc. We are allowed to drool over the amenities on our wish lists and find new ones to add. In such a lifestyle, it is easy to dismiss our everyday life as unaccomplished or boring.
    As I have begun thinking about the next chapter of my life as a new wife and student in pursuit of my doctorate, I have been able to look past the dreams and see reality. I have been able to make compromises, and I have realized that life is not about competition. It isn’t about competing to keep up with the Joneses. It’s about collaboration: working together to realize that while things may not start out in an ideal manner, we have to trust that eventually certain things on our wish lists will become reality.
    We have to be thankful for what we do have in our lives: good friends and family who are there for us each step of the way, and faith and trust in God to help us live according to his plan.
    As the semester winds up, take a moment for reflection upon certain accomplishments made in the past year. Celebrate those accomplishments and realize that despite the items still left on the wish lists and the to-do lists, there’s still time to make things happen.
    Heather Bozant can be reached at [email protected].