Marriage preparation policy has many facets, helpful hints

The newly approved Policies for Marriage Preparation in the Archdiocese of New Orleans will take effect on Sept. 1.
 
(For a detailed review of the new marriage preparation process, see “Marriage Prep policy to take effect Sept. 1“.)

Introduction
The sacrament of matrimony, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is ordered for the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of children.

Responsibilities of the couple
Each phase of the marriage preparation process is designed to be a blessing for the couple. Therefore, the couple’s active and sincere participation is necessary.

➤ Meet with a Roman Catholic priest or deacon in the Archdiocese of New Orleans. The first meeting must occur at least 6 to 8 months prior to the desired date of the marriage. These 6 to 8 months will give sufficient time for the couple to discern their readiness for marriage with the assistance of the Church. At this first meeting, the priest or deacon needs to sign the form “The First Step to the Altar.”

➤ Agree on a date, venue and time with the officiant. Once agreement is reached regarding a date, venue, and time, the parish church may be reserved for the wedding. It is recommended that the wedding occur in the parish church of one party, or in the church where the couple intends to practice the faith as a married couple.

➤ Review the “Steps to the Altar.” A priest, deacon or marriage preparation minister will outline each step of the marriage preparation process and explain the phases to the couple.

➤ Strive to fully practice the faith. Preparing for marriage entails more than intellectual learning. The couple also needs to strive earnestly to live according to God’s design.

Sacrament of confirmation
The sacrament of confirmation completes initiation into the Church. Therefore, it is ideal for a Catholic to be confirmed before entering the sacrament of Matrimony. If a Catholic party has not received confirmation, he or she should consult with a priest or deacon so as to discuss the process by which confirmation can be received. Marriage is not to be denied to Catholics who are yet to receive the sacrament of confirmation.

Actively practicing the faith
The sacrament of matrimony is one which grants grace to the couple so that they may fulfill their duties as a couple. It needs to be lived in conjunction with the other sacraments. Couples must seriously consider their weekly participation in Sunday Mass and on Holy Days of Obligation. Making use of the sacrament of confession regularly is also an integral part of practicing our faith.

Chastity and co-habitation
Divine revelation has convinced us of the sanctity of marriage and human sexuality. Couples will be instructed in these ideals while in marriage preparation and strive to fulfill them during each stage. Co-habitation and pre-marital sexual relations are serious threats to fully embracing God’s plan for marriage. Couples should discuss this topic with the marriage preparation minister.

Responsibilities of the cleric
Personally meet with each couple, agree upon a date. At least twice, each couple will meet with a Roman Catholic priest or deacon. One meeting will occur at the beginning of their process and once near the end of their marriage preparation process. During this first meeting, the cleric will ask if they are free to marry, i.e., if they have ever attempted marriage before in any way. If, upon the conclusion of this meeting, it seems they are free to marry, the cleric will agree on the date, venue, and time and complete “The First Step to the Altar” form so that the couple may reserve their church.

Formation of laity as marriage preparation ministers
The assistance and wisdom of lay people is also invaluable to the engaged couple. The laity should be offered formation in the Church’s teaching
on marriage so that they may assist engaged couples to prepare for marriage.

Completion of paperwork
Documents necessary for the marriage of couples whose wedding occurs in the Archdiocese of New Orleans, but whose preparation occurs in another diocese, must be reviewed by the chancellor of the Archdiocese of New Orleans. In this case, the policies for marriage preparation of the diocese where the preparation takes place should be followed. Upon completion, the chancellor of the diocese where the preparation takes place will send the documents to the chancellor of the Archdiocese of New Orleans. If one or both parties are baptized, baptismal certificates for each party, issued within six months of the wedding date, must be obtained and submitted to the parish where the marriage is occurring.

Each couple will be introduced to Natural Family Planning
Clerics will ensure that the names of those attending mentor couple programs and on-line preparation are provided to the Family Life Apostolate so the couple can be contacted by a certified Natural Family Planning trainer. Couples who attend the Days for the Engaged or Weekend Engaged Encounter will receive the necessary information at their program.

Responsibilities of the pastor of the church where the marriage is to take place
Oversee the scheduling of the church building. Each pastor will ensure that a couple who approaches his parish for a wedding ceremony is welcomed. The pastor will ensure that the couple has completed “The First Step to the Altar” form with a priest or deacon. If they have trouble finding a priest or deacon, the parish whose church they desire to use should assist them.

Establish parish policies
While a priest or deacon cannot demand a monetary offering for himself, the couple may wish to make a free-will offering to the cleric. Additionally, a pastor may establish a fee for the use of the church building. However, he will take great effort to avoid imposing an undue burden on the couple. Regarding fees, it is recommended that special consideration be given to parishioners. The pastor will also ensure that parish policies or procedures comply with liturgical rubrics and particular law. Where legitimate variation is allowed, the parish should set policies. Examples of these include church use fee, wedding coordinators/sacristans and their fees, musicians, photography, videography, dress code, behavior code, floral arrangements, non-liturgical traditions, etc.

Approve paperwork, grant delegations and permissions as necessary
The couple’s paperwork will be submitted by the officiant at least between 14-30 days prior to the wedding ceremony. Alternatively, the pastor may receive the documents from the archdiocesan chancellor if the couple had been prepared for marriage in another diocese.

Normal timeline for marriage celebration
➤ The couple will contact an officiant at least 6 to 8 months prior to the date of the wedding. Phases 1-4 are to be completed 60 days prior to the wedding date. Paperwork should be completed and submitted to the parish in whose church or territory the marriage is occurring at least 14 to 30 days prior to the wedding date.

➤ Weddings allowed on Saturday evenings: Pastors are to make their church available for Saturday evening weddings. This policy does not obligate a pastor himself to celebrate a Saturday evening wedding. However, the pastor will make his church available (unless there is another event) even if this incurs for the couple an additional sacristan fee.

➤ Weddings are not allowed on Sundays in the Archdiocese of New Orleans.

➤ Wedding Masses which occur after 4 p.m. on a Saturday (or day preceding a Holy Day of obligation) satisfy the obligation to attend Mass. The obligation is satisfied no matter which Mass prayers and readings are used.

➤ Location of weddings: The proper place for weddings is a parish church. When a couple contacts a priest or deacon to begin their marriage preparation process, it is recommended that the cleric direct a couple to a church parish which will assist the couple to live out their faith for the foreseeable future. This recommendation hopes to assist a couple to establish a “home parish.”

Special circumstances that warrant additional pastoral concern
➤ Marriage of minors: The Code of Canon Law establishes that a man below the age of 16 and a woman below the age of 14 cannot enter marriage. The state of Louisiana requires that individuals be 18 years old before marrying or 16 with the permission of their guardian and court authorization.

➤ Pregnancy: Although it understandably creates a sense of urgency in the minds of the couple or someone else, premarital pregnancy of itself does not constitute adequate justification for marriage or for abbreviation of the marriage preparation process. Pregnancy must be considered equally as grave a reason for not contracting marriage as for contracting marriage. A couple needs the time and opportunity to assess their reasons and readiness for marriage exclusive of the pregnancy. Therefore, pregnancy of itself shall constitute no exception to these diocesan regulations concerning the setting of the date of the wedding. The following norms are to be followed:

➤ Eighteen years of age and older: If the couple made the decision to marry and were engaged prior to the pregnancy, the decision to proceed with the marriage preparation process may be determined by the priest or deacon if he assesses the couple to be sufficiently prepared for marriage. If the couple had not made the decision to marry before the pregnancy, the cleric responsible for the marriage preparation is to consult with the Family Life Apostolate to see if further assessment is necessary.

➤ Either party is under 18 years of age: If the couple made the decision to marry and were engaged prior to the pregnancy, the cleric responsible for their marriage preparation is to consult with the Tribunal of the Archdiocese of New Orleans, as well as with the parents or guardians of the engaged couple. If the couple did not make the decision to marry prior to the pregnancy, the cleric will adhere to the above.

The faiths of the parties:
➤ When both parties are Catholic: When two Catholics marry, this normally occurs within a Mass.

➤ When a Catholic marries a baptized non-Catholic: If suitable, and at the request of both the officiant of the wedding and the pastor of the place of the wedding, permission may be granted for the wedding to be celebrated within the context of Mass.

➤ When a non-baptized party is involved: When a Catholic marries someone who is not baptized, this presents a situation in which careful pastoral guidance is to be provided. So that the faith of the Catholic party may be safeguarded, the Church provides much pastoral guidance. The Rite of Marriage does not foresee the possibility of celebrating marriage between a Catholic and an unbaptized person within the context of the Mass, nor may the Eucharist be distributed to those present.

➤ Non-practicing Catholics: When a Catholic who no longer practices their Catholic faith approaches a parish for marriage preparation, special pastoral care is to be extended to them. Since marriage is a sacrament lived out only by God’s grace, any form of marriage preparation will have the goal of aiding a couple to re-engage their personal faith through the practice of their religion. Failure to practice the faith is not in itself a matrimonial impediment.

➤ Validation: If a couple has attempted marriage outside the Church or is seeking validation of an otherwise invalid marriage, they are to follow the marriage preparation process described herein. It is preferable that couples in this situation attend a suitably adapted mentor couple program or the diocesan program: “Special Marriage Preparation Seminar” through the Family Life Apostolate

➤ Remarriage: Couples who are entering a subsequent marriage are provided special consideration owing to their differing circumstances and past experiences with marriage. The priest or deacon will address the circumstances of each particular situation and assist the couple accordingly. It is preferable that couples in this situation attend a suitably adapted mentor couple program or the diocesan “Remarriage Preparation Seminar” through the Family Life Office of the Archdiocese of New Orleans.

➤ Cohabitation: If, either from public knowledge or by frank admission of the couple, a priest or deacon knows that the couple is living together before their upcoming marriage, he is to approach the marriage preparation process with cautious pastoral care. In teaching the couple about matrimony and Christian teachings on the meaning of sexual intimacy, the cleric should exhort them to live separately and refrain from sexual activity until after their marriage. While it may indicate a significant misunderstanding of God’s design for human sexuality, cohabitation is not an impediment to marriage.

➤ Annulments and RCIA: An individual engaged in the annulment process cannot know with certainty the timing or the results of their annulment proceedings. Because of this, they should be made aware that participating in the marriage preparation process or the RCIA process before a declaration of nullity has been granted does not guarantee that the sacraments will be extended to the individual. While they are permitted to participate in the marriage preparation process and RCIA process, ministers will clarify with them that their annulment case must be completed with a positive decision before a date can be set for their marriage or entrance into the Church.

➤ Pre-nuptial agreements: Many couples consider forming a legal agreement concerning their temporal goods before they contract marriage. Some couples entering marriage after the death of a previous spouse consider such agreement to direct their assets to their proper heirs. If, however, such an agreement is formed in such a way that indicates the couple is not taking seriously the goods of marriage, namely fidelity and permanence, then the couple needs to be advised to reject their pre-nuptial agreement. It may be helpful to distinguish for the couple between a will (which manages assets after someone’s death) and a pre-nuptial agreement (which manages assets upon a divorce). If questions remain about whether a pre-nuptial agreement poses a problem, marriage ministers are to contact the judicial vicar.

➤ Weddings outside of a parish church: Permission to celebrate a wedding outside of a parish church or oratory will be given only for serious reasons.