Let God into your marriage

    Why is it that so many marriages, even after all the good intentions, careful planning and faithful promises, end in divorce? Studies might point to inadequate communication skills, lack of education, insufficient finances and poor effort as the reasons for divorce.
    But is that really the problem? If a hardworking couple had amazing communication skills and a wonderful investment portfolio, would that be a guarantee that there would not be any divorce in their future?
    Although these would be very helpful to have and use in a marriage, they are not enough to sustain and support a marriage.
    Just as a wise builder does not construct his house on top of his tools but on a solid foundation, so too, should spouses not think that feelings, good intentions, techniques and resources are the foundation for a strong and vibrant marriage.
    We want our marriage to do more than just survive, we want it to thrive! Not only is God the divine architect laying out the blueprints for this strong and lasting marriage, he is also the one who nourishes and perfects the very love of the spouses.
    “Remain in me, as I remain in you.  Just as a branch cannot bear fruit on its own unless it remains on the vine, so neither can you unless you remain in me. I am the vine, you are the branches.  Whoever remains in me and I in him  will bear much fruit,  because without me you can do nothing”  (Jn 15:4-5).
    In other words, a marriage without God is more than just a house without a foundation. It is a home without love, because God is love (1 Jn 4:8). For a married couple to be united in love, they must first be united in Christ.
    Where can we become more firmly grafted on this vine so that our love bears lasting fruit? Blessed Pope John Paul II proclaimed to spouses that prayer, the Eucharist and the sacrament of penance are the means “infallible and indispensable to form the Christian spirituality of conjugal and familial life.”
     We must then turn our hearts to him in prayer, be purified and healed through his mercy in confession, and be strengthened, filled and united to him in the Eucharist. In drawing closer to our Lord and truly being one with him, we will be able to love rightly those whom we have vowed to love, accept lovingly the lives God gives to us, rise above the struggles and hardships, and live a marriage full of life and love.
    A person cannot live without oxygen or water. A plant will not survive without water and sunlight. A couple will not last without an abiding relationship with God. To be the husband and wife God has called us to be, we will need to continually turn to God in prayer, receive him worthily in the Eucharist and seek his forgiveness and mercy in confession regularly. These three make up the trifecta of a healthy and flourishing marriage.
     Jason Angelette is the director of Faith and Marriage for the Willwoods Community. He can be reached at 830-3716; email,  [email protected]; or www.faithandmarriage.org.
    Note to married couples: On Nov. 3-4, the Willwoods Community will sponsor a “Family That Prays Together” retreat for married couples and their teenage children. The couples’ retreat will be held at the Christian Life Center at St. Joseph’s Abbey, and the teenagers will have a separate gathering at Camp Abbey. Parents and teens will come together on Nov. 3 to watch the LSU-Alabama football game and on Nov. 4 for Mass with Archbishop Gregory Aymond. There is a suggested donation, but cost is not an issue. For more information, go to  www.faithandmarriage.org.