How do we help families going through crises?

When I’m driving, I usually don’t pay much attention to the radio advertisements, preferring to switch to another channel playing music. Recently, however, I was struck by an announcement for a “Divorce 101” seminar, sponsored by a group of lawyers around town.

I don’t know why I was so shocked. We see advertisements on the television for a host of lawyer services, but I guess I had never before heard of a seminar offered solely on the topic of divorce.

What about help for marriages in trouble? What about seminars to help with familial problems? I suppose what shocked me the most was that, while we often hear statistics of marriages ending in divorce, we rarely hear about options for identifying and overcoming trouble, so as to avoid divorce.

Unfortunately, divorce and separation are options that are all too familiar today. Some might blame the fragmentation of society, the turn toward self-interest and cultural standards that make it seem that the “easy” way out is the familiar path.

Sociologists have focused on economics: the rate seemed to be declining during the recession, but now that more couples are able to afford the costs of divorce, the rate is rising. Today, the average percentage of United States marriages that end in divorce is between 40 to 50 percent.

Perhaps this climbing rate is the reason why such seminars are now being advertised. But outside of weekly church bulletins, where else do we find information on options that can keep families together?

Recently, I watched the movie “Hope Springs,” starring Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones. The movie focuses on an unhappy marriage that has lasted for 31 years, with the couple sleeping in separate bedrooms and seemingly living separate lives.

Streep’s character desires change, and announces her hope that they will participate in a week-long intensive couples’ therapy. Certainly comic and entertaining, I thought this movie had an excellent message to combat the rates and decisions for divorce: the option of fixing what has been broken.

Living in St. Louis, I recently experienced a series of bad weather, resulting in a number of tornados. In Louisiana, we have certainly experienced our own fair share of natural disasters in the form of hurricanes. We are taught to prepare for these destructive situations, and, when they strike, we do all we can to pick up the pieces and attempt to move forward with the healing process.

Why, then, can we not do the same with marriage, one of the most fundamental institutions of society? Without the family unit, there would be no society.

How can we continue with such destructive decisions, particularly when couples resort to divorce seemingly without considering alternative options?

I’ve had the privilege of being brought up in a home that demonstrated the strength of marriage and the importance of family. But I’ve been surrounded by friends in all aspects of my life that have experienced the trauma of divorce or separation.

Perhaps this is reflective of our relatively traumatic society. But I, at least, still believe that marriage is something worth fighting for, that there are always alternative options to separation and divorce. Perhaps what we need is more advertisements to promote an awareness of those harder options.

Heather Bozant Witcher can be reached at hbozantwitcher@clarionherald.org.