Gary LeBlanc was sitting in a chair outside a priest’s office.
His life had cratered. His marriage was about as down the drain as the morning coffee grounds.
His previous job as a youth pastor at a nondenominational church – which he held when he was briefly worshiping away from the Catholic Church – was yesterday’s news.
His secret was out.
LeBlanc was addicted to pornography.
His wife knew it. He had nowhere else to turn.
“I basically hit rock bottom and burned to the ground,” said LeBlanc, 37. “My life was in ashes all around me. I lost a ministry. I lost my reputation as a believer.
“I knew that I needed help, but I just never really knew where to turn. I had basically been trying to ‘white-knuckle’ it and fight this addiction on my own by reading books, but I never really got any lasting results.”
Some might call it serendipity – or some might call it a miracle – but because the priest was tied up for a few minutes, LeBlanc leafed through a back issue of the Clarion Herald on the end table.
Somewhere, deep inside the paper and well-hidden from page 1, was a four-inch “house ad.” The message promoted a confidential, Catholic, 12-step program for men suffering from an addiction or heavy attraction to pornography – the My House Men’s Group.
“God had begun to stir in my heart and reveal to me that I needed to get this out and bring this before other people,” LeBlanc said. “That ad was an answer to prayer. I knew then that I didn’t need to start a group when they already had one. I called that number – (504) 430-3060 – and the rest is history.”
Most men, LeBlanc said, find it difficult to pick up the “500-pound telephone” and make that first call for help. LeBlanc said in his case, it was different: This was life or death. He chose life.
“I was ready because I had already hit rock bottom years ago,” LeBlanc said. “I was excited to finally get this off my chest – just to be vulnerable and open and get out of my isolation, get out of the secrecy and hiding.”
When LeBlanc went to his first anonymous My House meeting nearly five years ago, there were three other men there, and the talk was that the group might disband.
“But when I showed up, they decided to keep it open,” LeBlanc said. “And after that, a few other people started coming in. After about a year, they asked me if I wanted to be the leader!”
There are now four chapters of the My House Men’s Group in the archdiocese – in Metairie, Mandeville-Covington, Slidell and on the West Bank. Each holds weekly meetings.
“We meet weekly because we need the accountability and the encouragement from other guys,” LeBlanc said. “And, a lot can happen from week to week and from Sunday to Sunday.”
Sexual addiction and addiction to pornography, LeBlanc says, are almost identical to other addictions (such as alcohol, drugs and gambling) in their effects on the brain. CAT scans of the brain of porn addicts and sex addicts are remarkably similar to those of “the heroin or cocaine addict.”
What makes addiction to pornography so insidious, LeBlanc said, is that it can go on for years without any outside warning signals.
“Sex addiction is easier to hide,” said LeBlanc, who is a certified sexual addiction mentor and an adviser to the My House Men’s Group for the archdiocesan Office of Marriage and Family Life.
“You’re dressed really well. You can look like the happiest, nicest guy in the world. You’re the doctor, the lawyer, the priest, the schoolteacher, and you feel like a regular Joe.”
LeBlanc said the three A’s of pornography addiction – accessibility, affordability and anonymity – make it extremely difficult to shake.
“You’re basically walking around with your drug dealer in your pocket,” LeBlanc said. “Your phone is a laboratory that creates the neurochemicals that you become addicted to. You can’t escape your drug. You just can’t ‘avoid that part of town’ or stay away from the liquor store.”
There is hope. LeBlanc said the first step is reaching out for help. LeBlanc said his wife, who has carried a heavy burden all these years, has shown the courage of a saint in remaining faithful to their marriage vows.
He has spoken frankly with their three children about his challenges and encourages all families to do so.
“We’ve got to beat the porn industry to our kids and get the message to them first because the average age of exposure to pornography is 8,” LeBlanc said.
In his conversations with priests, LeBlanc says the use of pornography is the sin most often heard in confession.
“When most guys are coming and confessing this, we know we’ve got an epidemic on our hands,” he said.
In addition to the My House Men’s Group, the archdiocese offers the Pearl Ladies Group for women whose partners are addicted to pornography.
LeBlanc also has started an online recovery program for men –
www.StrengthenYourBrothers.com – “for guys who won’t step foot inside of a group in person.”
An accountability group, sex addiction counseling, spiritual direction and a strong spiritual life, such as Mass attendance, Bible reading, adoration, confession and fasting, are keys to recovery, he said.
“It’s not a quick fix, like a 30-day program, but you definitely can get the freedom and the restoration and restore relationships and get healing of the brain,” LeBlanc said. “If I can do it, anyone can do it.
You’ll never know what you’ll find inside a Catholic newspaper. Maybe, your life.