Focus on your conversation with God during Lent

Every year as Lent rolls around, we often find ourselves beginning to wonder what we will be giving up this year. By now, we’ve all made our choices for Lenten sacrifices, and hopefully – unlike our New Year’s resolutions – we’ve been able to keep them so far.

This Lent, I decided to do something different. Of course, I “gave up” something that I enjoy: eating in between meals. But during the Ash Wednesday Mass, I was reminded that Lent is not about myself, it’s not about showing my strength to resist the temptation of snacking during the day. By focusing on myself, I wouldn’t be able to focus on my conversation with God. So, this Lent, I’ve decided to reflect on the ways in which God gives me – gives us – something.

This year, I’ve focused on asking what God is inviting me to change, which requires a lot of reflection.

During my prayers I have become more aware of asking myself what I need more of in life – patience, understanding, more loving behavior? What patterns have I noticed myself falling into that need to be changed? As I’ve focused on these reflective questions, I’ve realized that these patterns result from my own selfish choices. I choose to fight. I choose to be stubborn on certain opinions. I choose to do things that may be hurtful to others.

Certainly, these modes of thinking may sound like I’m being unnecessarily harsh to myself. In some ways, we know that we have annoying habits. But it isn’t until we actually reflect on how they affect others and how they affect ourselves, that we realize the negative consequences they may have. By focusing on what’s going wrong in my life, I can find the means to fix it. And this is where God’s gift to me comes in. Because the only way that I can change these things is by recognizing that I need help. Sometimes it may be that we don’t want to change a particular behavior, or we simply don’t know how. This is where trusting in God makes the difference because, with God, anything is possible.

These past few weeks, I’ve been focusing on seeing this desire for change as God’s way of communicating with me, reflecting with me on the changes that need to be made in order for me to be not only a better person, but more open to God’s influence in my life. By trusting in God, and looking toward him for guidance, I know that he will give me the grace and openness that I need in order to change.

Self-reflection is difficult. I think this has been the most difficult sacrifice that I’ve made for Lent, because I have been sacrificing my denial and unwillingness to look at myself. Perhaps this is something that seems more important when we marry, and are living each day with and for another person. But I think the first step is always to identify the problems. And then we can ask for God’s help in our healing.

Heather Bozant Witcher can be reached at [email protected].