Families with imprisoned relatives can feel chained

The stigma of being an ex-con still haunts Kevin McCarthy, even three decades after he’s been sober, out of jail and earned a doctorate degree in clinical psychology.

    Knowing the pain and shame that families and friends endure when a loved is imprisoned, McCarthy – who is now retired – is making it his life’s work to help others through his Christian-based nonprofit, the Dismas Project and Knowetics Institute. (Dismas is the name given to the thief on the cross next to Jesus at his crucifixion who asked for his mercy, McCarthy said.)
    On Feb. 14, McCarthy will conduct a meeting at Bethany Lutheran Church in Slidell for families of offenders and former offenders to help them survive the justice system and keep families intact.
    He considers the most important part of the event getting people beyond their pain and shame to attend the meeting and find healing by sharing with others in the similar situations.
    “Prisoners have a special spot in God’s heart,” said the reborn Catholic, is a parishioner at St. Luke the Evangelist  Catholic Church in Slidell. “They are not discarded in his ministry.”
Illness sparked action
    A stroke and heart attack in 2011 woke up McCarthy to the realization that he had more to give.
    “It made me conscious that I had something to do,” he said. “I can’t waste any time. They are my sheep.”
    He’s since written manuscripts for three books. One,  “Surviving the Justice Experience, An Essential Christian Resource for Families of Offenders,” will be published later this spring by Ambassador International in South Carolina. He hopes the book will be embraced.
    “There’s a real level of separation in our society about those who have offended or violated the rules,” he said. “Not only are people who come out of prison former felons, they are stigmatized in whatever they want to do and are severed from opportunity (affecting their future and their family’s future).”
    “I’ve wrestled with the stigma for 35 years,” he added. “The stigma kept me from writing the book for 35 years. There is redemption.”
    For McCarthy, redemption was a spiritual process. He was a high school dropout at age 16 and fell away from the Catholic Church. While incarcerated in California, he said a prison guard who was a former Catholic would give him Bible passages.
    “He never treated me like a prisoner,” McCarthy said. “He treated me like an individual who had worth and dignity.”
    He found redemption and began earning an associate degree during his four-year prison term, then a bachelor’s, a master’s degree then finally a doctorate in 1996. He’s worked for the Louisiana Department of Corrections and knows that God saved him, so no one should feel that there are barriers in his or her life.
    “I know my savior reached out and saved the lepers,” he said. “That’s what I’m trying to do here – carry the same message. There is no one beyond God’s love.”
    He said his ministry opens a necessary dialogue considering, in his estimation, there are at least 90 million family members, friends and children directly impacted by someone in prison.
    “Everyone is wounded, and no one is healing,” he said. “I feel a real burden to reach out and talk to this population because no one is talking to them.”
     He incorporates his devotion to St. Faustina and the Divine Mercy into the Knowetics part of his ministry that reaches out to the families of offenders.  He says mercy, grace and forgiveness are linked to faith and hope.
    “You have to meet people at their point of need, and mercy is that universal point of need.”
    He also has written to death row inmates at Angola Penitentiary.
    McCarthy spoke with Msgr. Lanaux Rareshide at St. Margaret Mary and Father Mark Lomax at St. Luke the Evangelist churches and also with Pastor Rod Pasch at Bethany Lutheran to get their guidance and support for his ministry. He’s hoping to form a support group, possibly at St. Margaret Mary in Slidell.
    “I think people who are in prison and the families are tremendously affected, and I don’t know if there is much support for them,” said Msgr. Rareshide, a priest for 51 years.
    Rev. Pasch said he is taking up a “Noisy Collection” for McCarthy’s ministry at an upcoming service.
    “I embrace any ministry that embraces what Jesus asks us to do,” Pasch said, such as feeding the hungry, clothing the naked and helping people in need, especially those rejected by everybody else.
    The timing of the event on Valentine’s Day was not coincidental.
    “It’s got to take a lot of love to come in on Valentine’s Day for someone in prison,” McCarthy said. “I believe the change process is done one person at a time.”
    Even if his effort only makes a little crack in the ice, McCarthy said he’s going to give it everything he’s got.
    “This is something I can do,” he said.
    Christine Bordelon can be reached at cbordelon@clarion herald.org.
    McCarthy offers talks at churches, meetings, etc. Make reservations at (888) 545-5128 or (985) 649-0742; dismas project.com.