Eucharist - 'food for the journey' - and Mary sustained the couple

By Rhonda Charbonnet
Contributing writer

2020 was a challenging year; however, for my husband and me, it was a far different challenge.  

Gilly’s Lewy Body Dementia took a hold of him. By April, Gilly had trouble processing the simplest of things. 

As with many Catholic churches during lockdown, our pastor found ways to keep connected to his flock. Every Saturday afternoon, Father Daniel Brouilliette of Annunciation Church in Bogalusa would sit outside in the hot sun for outdoor confessions and then offer up the virtual Vigil Mass.

Every Sunday morning, Father Bru would offer something drive-through: palms for Palm Sunday, bottles of Easter water, blessings from a relic. Given the nature of Gilly’s dementia, we often availed ourselves of the sacrament of reconciliation and were in the drive-through every Sunday. Such blessings!

Yet more and more my husband became frustrated with watching the virtual Mass. It was just too hard for him to comprehend. So, I decided, beginning Divine Mercy Sunday, that we would park behind the church for the Vigil Mass and watch the live feed from there. This physical closeness to church was a comfort for Gilly.

Once Father found out, he would send out the deacon following Mass with Holy Communion for us. This brought us such joy! And then, once the church was open, we were there every week. God bless the parishioners of Annunciation. By then, my husband was in a wheelchair. They would help me get Gilly in and out of the car and in and out of church.  

Despite the horrors of his illness, the blessings and joys continued. All through this time, Gilly’s parents had been unable to attend Mass. As I was already an extraordinary minister of holy Communion, we received special permission to bring his mom and dad Communion each week.

Beyond the joy for his parents was the special gift this was for Gilly: His generous heart could do something for someone else. He could bring “Jesus” to his mom and dad. We would pray or sing to Jesus from church to his parents’ home. This was the last gift of service my husband would ever be able to offer. 

By August, he became bed-bound. Father Bru gave Gilly the anointing of the sick, and each week the deacon would bring us Communion. In the midst of this, something extraordinary happened. A few days after he was bed-bound, I walked in our bedroom and Gilly told me, “Sister Faustina was just here.”

All I could think of was: “How does he know Sister Faustina? I didn’t tell him about her.”

When I told his family, one of his sisters said she organized a time for the Divine Mercy novena to be prayed and invited family and friends to participate – many of whom had never prayed this before. Our Lady was still using Gilly to reach others!

From this point on, my poor husband had rare lucid moments. A week after Labor Day, Gilly told me he wanted to go back to Lourdes to serve. Now Gilly loved and missed his work as a key grip in the movie business, so I was curious and asked: “If God healed you, would you rather go back to work or would you rather stay at Lourdes and serve the sick?”

Without hesitation, he told me, “I’d rather go back to Lourdes and help the sick.”  Oh my gosh, this was the generous soul who was my husband! Our Lady was in his heart!

About a week later, we received a two-fold gift. First, the Lourdes Hospitality North American Volunteers had heard about Gilly and sent me the beautiful apostolic pardon. Second, Father Herb Kiff, the pastor of Mater Dolorosa who had married us, came to our home to offer a Mass. 

Gilly’s hospital tray was the altar. Father celebrated the Mass of Viaticum (the Eucharist given to a person near death as “food for the journey”). I had served many years with liturgy and had never heard of this Mass. It was so beautiful! During the Mass, Father prayed the apostolic pardon over Gilly. Our bedroom was transformed into the holiest of places.

By Monday, I was alone with my husband. Gilly was breathing 60 breaths a minute all through the day. I felt Our Lord put on my heart to tell Gilly that every breath he took was to help the poor souls in purgatory. And so our vigil continued. 

Gilly hadn’t spoken a word for about 36 hours. I went up to his side early Monday afternoon and said, “Let’s say our night prayers.” I leaned over and was inches from his face. To my surprise and delight, I saw his lips move to all the prayers just like we prayed every night.

My husband had one foot here on earth and one in, as St. Bernadette called it, “the other world.”

  Finally, around 8:40 on Monday evening, Oct. 5, 2020, my husband suddenly took a few quiet breaths and was silent. As he took his last breaths, all I could think of were prayers of gratitude to God for the gift of my husband and for all God had done in his life. 

Gilly had now entrusted his soul to Our Lady to bring him to Jesus. But not only Our Lady. Oct 5 is the Feast Day of St. Faustina! By God’s infinite mercy, by Our Lady’s abiding love, my dear sweet husband persevered to the end!

  Over these months, I have gained a new appreciation for the word “perseverance” and now pray for it every day. I want to tell the world about the Ritual Mass for Viaticum – this long forgotten gift of the Church for those close to death. 

I want to shout out about the gifts and graces to be found in the holy sacraments of the Church: Reconciliation for forgiveness and healing; the Eucharist to nourish and strengthen; marriage, the love given and shared bound with God for fidelity to vows; and anointing of the sick, for endurance in sickness and final preparation for the soul. 

Given the fear consuming our current world, my heart yearns to say: There is hope in God’s mercy. There is dignity in suffering when united to the cross. There is beauty in those last moments which take us before Love Himself, God.

And we have been given a precious gift in Our Lady, Our Mother, who is always with us and interceding for us and reaching out to help us.

Every day my heart misses Gilly. Yet, at the same time, I thank our heavenly Father for his loving mercy in my husband’s life, in my life, in all our lives. And to Our Lady of Lourdes, my heart is overflowing with gratitude for her abiding and gentle love.  She had answered my prayer from our days in Lourdes: For Gilly’s “relationship with Mary to deepen so that when the darkness of dementia envelops him beyond my reach, that the light and love of Our Lady will bring him peace and comfort.”

As for myself, Gilly gave me one final gift. I am his widow. There is blessedness and comfort in this as it is the final evidence of the love we shared as husband and wife.

And I now humbly stand with the widow among widows, the Blessed Virgin Mary, and from her, I receive special understanding and comfort in my grief.