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Hasn’t he done enough damage?
When Edwin Edwards made a Faustian bargain decades ago to trade the charisma that oozed from his every pore for cash and untold favors, he forfeited any right to lead a one-float parade in Crowley, much less the 6th Congressional District of Louisiana.
I’ll never forget the story one of my sisters told my father after returning from a 1970 high school trip to Washington, D.C., where she had an audience on Capitol Hill with Louisiana’s Congressional delegation.
“Dad,” she boldly proclaimed in the kitchen, “I just met the man who’s going to be the next president of the United States!”
That’s the kind of mesmerizing effect Edwards had – and, in some cases, still has – on people, even those with all their wits and their wallets about them.
When the 86-year-old Edwards, a convicted felon, announced last week he was, in fact, considering a run for Congress, my first thought was that this was just another publicity stunt aimed at persuading A&E cable network executives to resurrect “The Governor’s Wife,” the reality-fantasy show about the octogenarian and his 35-year-old wife Trina, an unwatchable train wreck that was officially recalled by national plebiscite after three episodes for lack of interest and taste.
Who knows? Maybe 8 1/2 years in federal prison for shaking down those lusting after one of the state’s cherished casino licenses simply had intensified the ex-governor’s narcissistic tendencies, which had led, sadly, to the notion that the world and, more importantly, Louisiana revolved around him.
If there is a cautionary tale about a four-term governor feathering his nest with the Benjamins of business executives looking for a foot in the door – after all, he never stole a dime from taxpayers, right? – it apparently was lost on a gifted man who always was the brightest bulb in the room.
Just think what Edwards could have done for us had he not been doing for himself.
Edwards captivated, entertained and persuaded people. He could out-quip Seinfeld.
On his gubernatorial opponent, David Treen: “Treen is so slow it takes him an hour and a half to watch ‘60 Minutes.’”
The iconic bumper sticker during his fourth run for governor against former Ku Klux Klan grand wizard David Duke read: “Vote for the crook: It’s important.”
On the charge he extorted $400,000 in cash from former San Francisco 49ers owner Eddie Debartolo Jr. in exchange for a casino license: “If I were in a position to extort a spoiled kid who inherited $600 million, do you think I would ask for $400,000? I’d have hit him up for maybe $40 million.”
On how he would bravely serve his time as federal inmate No. 03128-095 (future Powerball numbers, perhaps): “I will be a model prisoner, as I have been a model citizen.”
To Edwards, politics was and is a game of winners and losers. Winners make the rules. It wouldn’t hurt, if you wanted something more than “good government” from the governor, to join him for poker night at the mansion and drop a few hands, even if it meant discarding a royal flush.
Edwards’ craving for love, affirmation and attention bespeaks a man living in an alternate universe, with plenty of mirrors. At a time when he should be making peace, he is disturbing ours.
Please. Stop. We’ve seen this show before.
Peter Finney Jr. can be reached at pfinney@clarionherald.org.
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