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Jesus said, “Let the children come to me.” However, I don’t recall him saying anything about chimps. You see, after one summer Sunday Mass in our “pew of perpetual motion,” my brother (the celebrant) chuckled as he had noted that juggling our then-2-year-old boy in the pew was about as comical as “bringing a chimpanzee to church!”
I know my brother well enough to know that absolutely no offense was intended, just a mere observation. He was exactly right. We had really gotten our exercise in that day, as most Sundays tend to go for our family. I also was pregnant with our fourth child and having a hard time navigating my growing belly in the pew to keep up with the rest of the kneeling crowd.
Did I cry? Did I throw in the towel and say, “He’s right. This kid’s no better behaved than a wild animal! I can’t hear a thing. We can’t bring him. We’re just a big distraction!”
No. Did I think it? Maybe it crossed my mind on various Sundays, depending on how sleep-deprived I was that week. However, that day, I took a deep breath, looked up at the heavens and said, “Lord, give me a hand. You know I don’t know what I’m doing!” As always, his hand was readily available.
With four young children, ages 8, 6, 4 and 2, I am in no way kidding when I say our place in church is the “pew of perpetual motion.” I only wish I had coined that term myself. Another family who had been in exactly our position passed on the name to us. Their children have now grown and given them arms full of loving grandchildren. That’s right, they made it!
They not only survived these days but lived them to the fullest. How? Through the sacraments, Christ and life-giving love that can come only from God himself. Christ begs to dwell at the heart of the family and begs for us to dwell with him at Mass. It’s not important whether or not I can focus entirely on the readings or homily because I’m distracted by how often my son has had his finger in his nose or if I can’t hear the hymns over my “passionate” 2-year-old’s chosen rendition of “Old MacDonald” or another tantrum.
That’s not important. Believe it or not, Mass is not just about what I thought I “got out of it” today. Regardless of what I heard or felt, my family was blessed. By attending Mass together, we witnessed the sacrifice of the Mass and were in the presence of the most holy Eucharist. If I could see with spiritual eyes, I would see the blessings poured out and the graces showering upon those who are weak, strong, blind, confused, frustrated, hurt, sinners, innocent … all of us.
We all need the graces to go on. If I think I need a cup of coffee every day to get going, why wouldn’t I need the Word incarnate? Although my children do not receive Communion yet, what better training ground for them to both see their parents receive this most holy Eucharist and teach them that it is a priority in our lives as parents and as a married couple? Receiving Communion also allows us to sunbathe in the presence of the Son of God and soak up his graces.
Many families already attend Mass each Sunday as a family. I challenge you to share this news with a friend. Some spouses choose to attend alternate Masses while the other stays home with the younger children. But have courage – you can do it. With time, new challenges become easier and more natural. We need to thank all those families who helped pack our churches this Easter, and we need to invite them to join us as often as possible. Those families make us stronger, and their young children will thank them one day.
Often I am asked how we do it. When we had one child, I practically brought luggage to church to tend to all of her possible entertainment or dietary needs. We soon discovered that my bag of goodies became more of a distraction than a help. Taking baby steps, we cut back until we had just a pen from my purse, a piece of paper and a sippy cup – or even just a religious book (if they are toddler age) to “keep them company” at restless moments.
I find the cry room to be more distracting for them, but if that’s where you need to start, then go for it! We get our exercise taking the toddler back and forth to the foyer of the church during “meltdowns,” but eventually they learn. Our previously mentioned “chimpanzee,” now 4, sits just fine in his pew. Sure, he moans and groans now and again. Don’t we all have our moments? One of our children may fall asleep, but we don’t let it stop them from coming. After all, they’re just basking in the “Son.”
We all were children once. We all need to be there. Jesus said, “Let the children come to me,” and in our case, even chimps.
Elise Angelette is assistant director of the Faith and Marriage Ministry at the Willwoods Community.
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