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Most Catholic parents eagerly teach their very young children their ABCs and numbers, but when it comes to teaching them the fundamentals of their faith, too many parents punt the ball to religion teachers.
It’s a disconnect that has bewildered Alice Hughes, the archdiocese’s new director of the Office of Religious Education, throughout her 38 years of ministry as a school theology teacher, director of religious education and director of adult catechesis at parishes and dioceses in Pensacola, Birmingham, Knoxville and Orlando.
“Parents don’t have a problem with teaching children how to read. So why do we think children don’t have to learn how to pray? Why do we think they don’t have to learn how to participate in liturgy?” asked Hughes, who served as director of the Office of Faith Formation and Lay Ministry Leadership for the Diocese of Jackson, Miss., for seven years before coming to New Orleans.
“Religion teachers are partnerswith the parents, just as in all education,” Hughes said. “But we’re not the whole kit and caboodle. Parents are the primary educators of their children.”
Make family prayer a habit
Hughes said parents can begin forming their little ones as early as the in-utero stage of development by praying “with them and for them.” One of the most critical moments in a child’s religious formation comes at the moment of his baptism, when parents are asked to accept the responsibilities of what their children are being initiated into: the faith and worship life of the church.
“I cannot emphasize this enough: When you get married (in the Catholic Church) and when you bring your children for baptism, you say, ‘Yes. I will raise my children according to the teachings of the church, which means you bring them to Mass, you start praying with them,” Hughes said. “That is a serious commitment, and it is so disheartening, as a religious educator for all these years, when I see parents drop kids off (at a Catholic school or CCD), pick them up and never darken the doors of church.”
‘Family catechesis’
Hughes, who is currently making her way to every parish in the archdiocese to learn more about their religious education needs, recently witnessed the benefits of early religious training. She said that during a prayer service at St. Angela Merici Church, children as young as 2 knew how to make the sign of the cross, genuflect and say the prayers.
“You could tell that these children had been primed, not just from that school, but from their parents,” Hughes said. “It was just such an enriching experience to watch these children pray to God in their own way, and to participate in the singing,” she said.
“It’s not about ‘children’s catechesis’ at this young age – I think that’s where we mess up,” Hughes adds. “This is a time of family catechesis – a great time to bond with your children under the guise of God and family.”
In addition to faithfully attending Mass, parents can be powerful models of reverence to their children by paying attention in church, participating in the prayers and becoming involved in a parish ministry, especially if the latter is related to the liturgy.
“If these children see Mommy or Daddy up there as ministers of the word, ministers of the Eucharist, ministers of hospitality, these little children start seeing that ‘Mass is important because my Mom and my Dad dy are doing something.”
Likewise, parents can teach the importance of discipleship by taking their children with them on community service projects.
“What does it mean to be a Catholic Christian? It means to go outside of yourself to help the community,” Hughes said. “If children are taken to (service sites), it speaks volumes – a lot more than what we can teach them in school.”
Use Communion as catalyst
If parents haven’t already begun having age-appropriate conversations about the sacraments with their children by the time they are preparing for first Communion, age 7 is a great time to begin sharing stories of their own sacramental experiences.
“What are the sacraments? What are the symbols of these sacraments? And what do they mean to your own faith life, to the faith life of your child, to the faith life of your family?” Hughes said, noting that by fifth grade – the year Catholic youngsters study the sacraments in religion class – “all of a sudden all these sacraments start coming together to make sense.”
“It’s a great age for parents to start seriously speaking and praying with their children about what the sacraments mean – put it on that personal level,” Hughes said.
Remember when?
For example, parents can share how they felt when they received their first Eucharist and reconciliation.
“By the time children get into fifth grade, it’s been three years since they’ve made that first reconciliation and Communion,” Hughes notes. “So what does Communion and reconciliation mean to my child now, as a fifth grader? What did those sacraments mean to me when I was in the fifth grade? Did I still go to church in fifth grade? Do I go now? What does it mean to me now to participate?”
Hughes noted that parents can go through all seven sacraments using this same approach.
“If parents just push (religious education) off to the schools and religious ed programs, 90 percent is not done, because kids are with their parents most of the time,” Hughes said. “The child says, ‘Yes, I’ve learned about the seven sacraments all these years, but how do I see them acted out in my parents’ lives?’”
The Office of Religious Education can be reached at 861-6270.
Beth Donze can be reached at [email protected].
How parents can become better teachers of the faith:
• Alice Hughes is a strong advocate of “womb to tomb” religious education; in other words, an adult Catholic’s religious instruction should not come to an abrupt end after confirmation. One of the best ways parents can witness the faith to their children is by enrolling in adult catechesis programs, available at most church parishes and often scheduled to coincide with the parish’s school of religion classes. “When a kid’s saying, ‘I don’t want to go to religious ed,’ and you’re saying, ‘Well, you have to,’ if I were a kid, I would look at my parents and say, ‘If it’s good enough for me, why isn’t it good enough for you?’” Hughes said.
• Parents, especially of middle-school children, are notoriously busy, but this doesn’t mean they have to put their religious education on hold. Children’s religion textbooks usually list online resources, family activities and scriptural citations at the end of each section. “Go online to that book company,” advises Hughes.
• When Hughes would teach the baptism section to adults enrolled in sacramental catechesis, she would ask them to find their child’s baptismal candle and light it every year on the child’s baptismal anniversary. “Their baptismal birthday is their birth into God’s family. Celebrate that birthday!” Hughes said. The candle can be kept throughout the year in a common prayer area in the home, along with a Bible – one that children are not afraid to touch – a rosary and other prayer aides, she said.
• During baptismal catechesis, Hughes also had parents write letters to their unborn child expressing their hopes for their baby’s faith life. Hughes said the letter can be read to the child every year on his baptismal birthday. “(Reading this letter) will do two things,” she said. “It will keep the child active in the church, and it will keep the parents’ marriage together – because they will remember how they loved each other at the time of that baptism.”
• Whenever reconciliation is being offered to your child during school or CCD time, ask the pastor if there will be enough priests to accommodate parents as well. “I don’t care what we teach (about reconciliation),” Hughes said. “It’s not until children see their parents go that it means anything.”
• Consider praying a daily, weekly or monthly family rosary in the home. When prayed as a family, the rosary “is a great way to witness to an ancient prayer in the church, for the children to learn the prayers, and for the children to pray together and study Scripture,” Hughes said.
• Bless your children regularly with the sign of the cross. “Anyone can give a blessing,” Hughes said.
Tags: Alice Hughes, Archdiocese of New Orleans, faith formation, Office of Religious Education, Uncategorized