Christmas can bring painful memories, but be open to sharing

By Deacon David Farinelli
Contributing writer

The favorite time of the year – and the worst time of the year combined: Christmas!

It is at this time when both joyous and painful memories come forth to assail us. These can affect us even when we are on the cusp of getting engaged or married, having a baby or watching our children grow up and move away. 

Christmas seems to bring out all the emotions of life in all of us. 

Couples ready to become engaged or be married should avail themselves of this time to truly delve into those bright and dark areas of their lives and share them with the person who will be their spouse. This is a must, especially if this is your first Christmas together. 

Reluctance can be overcome
Often people are reluctant to share their dark places at this time; however, it is an ideal time to give the other person awareness of what is deep within and what could become a potential pitfall for them as a couple. These moments of sharing will open a new level of intimacy never before reached in your relationship. It will teach each person how to trust another person with his or her heart, hurts and joys. 

It is important that neither of you decides during the engagement there are things you will not tell the other. Ironically, just at the worst time in your life, those hidden things will surface. 

On the other hand, if all is shared – the good, the bad and the ugly – there is no harm, no foul. All of this knowledge lends itself to deepening the couple’s intimacy. 

Should topics arise which appear to be difficult to overcome, no matter the season of the year, do not be afraid to find a counselor to help you work through them. Many times, we think we can handle issues on our own. This is not the case. Maybe going to a counselor one or two times will be sufficient to handle the issue; other issues may take more time. Whatever the case, it will be so much better to have a professional working along with you.

Catholic Counseling Services wishes each of you a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. May our Lord and Savior bless each of you and bring you peace and joy. 

Please remember, we are here to assist you through the struggles of any time. You can reach us at (504) 861-6245. We are located at 2814 South Carrollton Ave. in New Orleans. 

deacon2u@gmail.com