A nun who listened and believed changed her life

    No matter what she did, Deborah Lipsky never seemed to fit in.
    As a child in Catholic school, she rocked in her desk chair incessantly and had so many emotional meltdowns that the nuns who taught her threw up their hands.
    “I wasn’t understood,” said Lipsky, who was diagnosed in 2005 at age 44 as a high-functioning autistic. “I spent a lot of time in the closet at school. I begged not to go to school. There was no diagnosis for high-functioning autism.”
    Little things threw Lipsky off. Because she was so different, she became an easy target of bullies. It started early, in kindergarten, and went on unabated through 12th grade.
    “I was placed in special ed, but I had such a hard time that I got thrown into a room with coloring books,” Lipsky said. “You’re considered too stupid to learn.”
    Most days, when her teacher was worn down to her last nerve, the remedy for an individual student’s inelegant wisecrack was group punishment.
    “You know how they used to make everybody stay after school and copy down an entire dictionary page?” Lipsky asked. “Writing is extremely hard for me. I was always the last one in class to finish, and I was bawling my eyes out. People with autism need a script for everything, and they don’t like going off script. I had meltdowns. I wanted to run away from school.”
    There was even worse stuff. In high school, Lipsky was sexually abused, but she summoned the courage to confide in the nuns about her trauma.
    “They blamed me and said it was my fault,” Lipsky said. “I was so angry at the Catholic Church that I eventually became a witch and was expelled from Catholic high school. I spent six years as a practicing Satanist.”
    Many years later, after a “miraculous” conversion back to Christianity, she repeated her story of abuse to a priest.
    “He blew me off,” Lipsky said. “I said to myself, ‘Fine.’ I walked into another religion whose mission is to destroy Mary.”
    So imagine Lipsky’s surprise in December 2009 when she left her farm in northern Maine to speak about autism at a workshop in Kenner. Lipsky had written a book about her life’s struggles, and School Sister of Notre Dame Francanne Etringer attended the seminar.
    Wanting to know her audience a little better, Lipsky asked the workshop participants to describe their professional backgrounds. When it was Sister Francanne’s turn to speak, she said, “I’m a physical therapist – and a nun!”
    “As I said that, I thought, ‘Why did I say that?’” Sister Francanne said.
    During a break, Lipsky approached Sister Francanne and asked: “Are you really a Catholic nun?”
    When Sister Francanne said she was, Lipsky replied, “Well, I told God that if he wanted me to come back to the Catholic Church, he would have to send me a nun.”
    From that encounter, the two forged a telephone and e-mail relationship that grew into trust and spiritual encouragement. After having endured so much pain in her life, Lipsky told Sister Franc­anne that she was not sure where she was being pulled.
    “I wouldn’t have ever survived the spiritual battles without her,” Lipsky said. “Here was this little nun who was in her own little world as a physical therapist. She was the epitome of God’s love to me. She never frowned at me. She encouraged me and stood by me. I had hated the Blessed Mother for so many years and called her a demon. You know, when you’re into Satanism, the demons don’t want to let you go. Sister Francanne told me, ‘Even if you go back to your old ways, I will still be your friend.’”
    Rather than view her autism as a disease, Lipsky considers it a gift. She has an incredible affinity for animals. Wild birds will land serenely at her feet. She has tamed wild horses in minutes. She even has held a 40-pound racoon in her arms – but don’t try that at home.
    “Each one of us has special gifts, and we have to embrace the gifts, not the challenges,” Lipsky said. “St. Francis of Assisi is one of my favorite saints. I see God in animals, and I think animals see that in me. I can’t explain it. I just work with it.”
    Lipsky will return to New Orleans next Saturday to sign copies of her latest book, “From Anxiety to Meltdown,” at the Catholic Book Store. She will talk about her resurrection, and about the small woman, Sister Francanne, who never judged her and made her transformation possible.
    “The Catholic Church has given me everything back,” Lipsky said. “It’s given my life back to me. All I can say is, ‘God doesn’t make mistakes.’”
    Lipsky will sign books Dec. 3 from 11 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Catholic Book Store, 3003 S. Carrollton Ave., New Orleans. Her Web site is autisticracoonlady.com.
    Peter Finney Jr. can be reached at [email protected].