By Stacy Glynn LaMorte, NOLA Catholic Parenting
In this age of “constant communication,” it seems like we have less and less of it on a quality level. How many times have you had a texting “conversation” for 30 minutes that could have taken five minutes if you had spoken by phone? When my children are making plans with their friends and texting back and forth, I will say, “How about if you just give him/her a call to be sure you are both clear about the plans?”
I am talking about actual physical plans, but also about what is happening with our kids emotionally and spiritually. They have so much going on that we don’t even know about if we don’t keep the lines of communication open and let them know that we are a safe harbor in a storm of ‘tween and teen chaos.
Some kids are more open to communicating than others just by their very personalities. However, I truly feel that if we get to know each of our children’s “love languages,” it can help tremendously in how we communicate with them and how we show them our love.
If you haven’t read the book “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, may I suggest picking it up.
You take a quick quiz to figure out your primary love language of the five: Gift Giving, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, and Words of Affirmation. I personally have Acts of Service as my primary love language.
When my husband Kris vacuums the stairs (my absolute least favorite chore in the entire house) you would think he just gave me a piece of jewelry!
When I can tell my son has something on his mind, Kris or I will go join him outside to shoot hoops on the driveway or play catch with him. That’s when he talks to us (Quality Time).
One of our daughters shares the most with us either while we drive in the car or cook together in the kitchen. Our other daughter loves best to be doing makeovers or snuggling on the couch (Physical Touch) and does her best sharing then.
It certainly can’t hurt for you and your spouse to know one another’s love languages as well, especially if they are not the same.
You may be buying him expensive gifts to show your love when what he would really love best is a foot rub and vice versa!
We can show that same quality communication with our “Father” by visiting him at Mass or in adoration (Quality Time), prayers of thanksgiving (Words of Affirmation), loving and caring for his people (Acts of Service), receiving Communion (Physical Touch), and giving to the church and those in our community (Gift Giving).
Please share with us at the Clarion Herald if you have a great way to “speak” your child’s love language to foster quality communication.
Stacy Glynn LaMorte is a wife and mother of three children. She is a work-from-home mom who is a fitness professional and does bookkeeping part-time. She loves being with her family, traveling, exercising, reading, photography and gardening. Please send comments to email@example.com. Visit the blog featuring three new posts a week at www.nolacatholicparenting.org.